Never heard silence quite this loud.
A few of my most favourite people in the world ♥
Season is over ): heartbroken. Having to step down, knowing there’s less time to hang out with my kickass Dream Team, having to pause playing my favourite sport ever. The loss was a bitter pill to swallow, and I cannot say that I’m completely over it because that would be lying. It was too close, and the fact that we lost not to a better team, but because we ran out of luck.. was mostdef a tight slap in the face. I keep thinking of how I could’ve prepared my team better for the final. Nonetheless, very proud of them all, each and everyone (: As captain, my first reaction to the final whistle being blown was to manage my emotions, whatever the outcome. Victorious - do not over-celebrate, Defeated - chin up. I stayed strong for my team, who was already so strong dealing with the outcome. To the extent that I surpressed it wayyy too much, too deep. When the time finally came to let out some raw emotions, it was not easy. It was a delayed reaction, it took more than 24 hours for real tears to flow down my cheeks. And these tears were shortlived. They came and they go, in batches. That day I felt so weird. I couldn’t tell what I was feeling. I just felt lost.
Nonetheless, I’m thankful for all the love and the quite frequent “are you okay?”s (got to a point where i was quite sian of replying oopsy) and the concern. Much appreciated. I guess, only time will heal ? Thanks for those who contributed to being temporary distractions haha. My teammates for KFP2 on Saturday, mommy for bringing me out to cut my hair (YES I CUT MY HAIR, AFTER 1.5 YEARS GUYS MOMENTOUS!), catchup with YK, Rproj with SnD and study sessions with SnD.
I need to fill this empty void in my heart with a whole shitload of studying.
Well this June Hols (omg last june hols ever, right?):
- study my ass off, every single day
- light exercise! do not want to return to school as a fat blob when term starts (OH BUT SURPRISINGLY I LOST 2KG POST SEASON. LIKE HUH. DESPITE ALL THE JUNK FOOD I SPAMMED SINCE ITS POST SEASON…)
- catchup with belovedz
- try to have a normal sleeping pattern
- be more organized
OH WELL. still trying to find new cheese (:
xoxo
